Not long ago I was talking to a divorced friend who told me how she and her dad were out walking and discussing the challenges of finding love after 50. My friend is generally pretty optimistic, but when it comes to dating she’s pretty skeptical about falling in love again.Read More
Dating Advice from Dr. Sue
Everyone has a theory about why they are still single over 50. Challenging past relationships, poor role models and even too few fish in the proverbial dating pond top the answers that most of my clients give. Trying to flesh out the real culprit sends lots of people to the self-help aisle and many more to therapy.
But for a question like this, you don’t have to pay your shrink thousands of dollars if you can embrace one simple concept. The real reason why you’re single won’t be found in another person, it will be found inside of you.Read More
Women often ask me why it’s so hard for them to find true love? As a therapist for many years (and more recently as a dating coach) I have observed that there are quantifiable differences between women who find true love easily versus those who struggle. The truth is the experience of being single isn’t hard for everyone. Some women embrace it, love it even. Yet others want desperately to change it. And it’s that desperation that causes them to feel frustrated, critical and pessimistic.
The good news is that you don’t have to stay this way. The “secret” about how to find true love is inside of you. It all starts in your head. What you think about always seems to follow it’s way around to your heart. In other words, what you think about will manifest itself in how you feel. Change your thinking and your feelings will follow.Read More
A single woman’s dating life is full of opportunities to meet Mr. Right. Unfortunately, all too many women miss out on great men because they have said yes to the wrong ones. Why do we do this? Are women hard-wired to struggle with setting limits? Are you overly worried about being liked, popular or kind? If your attention is spent on trying to please others, how can your needs and desires ever make the list?
Codependency notwithstanding, it’s not always easy to speak up for yourself, but it is incredibly important. Learning to say no is a life skill we all must master if we want to be happy.Read More
Valentine’s Day is filled with meaning for everyone who cares about love. Often, it’s our relationship status that dictates how we approach the holiday. Like me, your cynical side (maybe rational side?) probably speaks to you about how it’s all media hype; that somehow buying into it is being herded like sheep all the way to your Visa account.
Being single in this love-crazed mentality makes it difficult to feel anything other than disheartened, lonely, and even embarrassed. But being in the wrong relationship is much worse, and we can all be subject to the “grass is always greener” state of mind. So if you have found your way out of a bad marriage or relationship there is a lot to celebrate.
What we all really want is to be in a truly loving relationship--and that is not only possible, it’s probable if you do what it takes.Read More